The Campaign

The campaign is being run by Matt Bitner.

The Slaveship

 * The campaign began aboard a Lumenmort slave ship where Rockhelm Bisonsmash had recently been sold into slavery by The Royal Guard of Irongrad. On board he met the hunter Alexander Skaarsgaard and barbarian warlord Kradd Cho'garr. Also present was Wig Tooth, a goblin spy hired by Herman Blacktide IV to investigate Lumenmort's dealings with The Secret of the Jade Monkey as well as an Orc who appeared possessed by necromantic spirits. Before the newly formed party could enact their plan the ship was rocked by a shower of meteorites. The single guard in the slave hold left and the behest of his comrades and the Orc began to spasm, collapsing to the ground. The orc then rose from the dead as an undead acid spewing ghould, slaying Wig Tooth. The party, through brute force, escaped their chains and took to dispatching the Orc. Following this they retrieved their gear from the ship's storage hold and was confronted by two guard drakes. At this time Joa Elematricks was blasted from shore and hurdled towards the ship. When he hit the bow of the ship he busted a opening through one of the ship's portholes and joined the fray. The party then slayed one of the guard drakes while Alexander Skaarsgaard shot the second in the eye, causing it tumbled into the ocean through the hole created by Joa Elematricks.The Party then faced the ship's captain, Trevian Poole on the deck of the ship. Shortly after his defeat a meteorite collided into the deck, splitting the ship in two. The Party found refuge amongst flotsam, and constructed a make shift raft. During the raft's construction that Rockhelm was ambushed by the Guard Drake Alexander had ejected from the ship earlier. Rockhelm quickly destroyed it. The Party then made an agreement to pilot the raft toward's Herman's Landing. For whatever reason, perhaps buoyancy they attached the bodies of the ships crew to the boat with makeshift rope made of the ship's fallen mast. They noticed these bodies coming back to life and set them adrift.

Herman's Landing

 * Landed on the shore Herman's Landing
 * Rockhelm gathered food from a tide pool
 * Joa wanted to start a sea food stand
 * Guards approached the party, asking about Wig Tooth the goblin
 * Party intimidated guards and demanded an audience with the king
 * Herman IV greeted them party in something of a drunken stupor
 * Party informed Herman IV Wig Tooth had died, killed by a strange Orc
 * Herman IV let slip that Wig Tooth was in Lumenmort spying on their dealings with The Secret of The Jade Monkey
 * Party, particularly Joa and Kradd incited the king to be wary of the Lumenmort wizards and prepare for war.
 * Herman IV requested the party deal with the pest problem, particularly the fire beetles in the granary. They agree.
 * Before resting that night, The Party engages in a drinking competition with Herman's King's Guard Jerry.
 * During a piggy back ride mishap, Rockhelm knocks Jerry unconcious and the party believes him dead.
 * Joa forges a note from "wizards" trying to play off the mishap as an attack.
 * Alexander sneaks off in a drunken stupor and beds Susan Skulltuski
 * In the morning, The Party finds Jerry missing. Not remembering the events of the previous night, he saw Joa's note and reported the wizard attack to King Herman.
 * Herman send them off the take care of the beetles in the granary.
 * Joa enter the granary, prevoking the beetles to spit fire, setting the granary ablaze.
 * The party defeats the beetles, but the granary burns down.
 * Guards arrive and the party blames wizards for the mishap.
 * The party returns to Herman's keep, and attempts to incite war against the wizards of Lumenmort. Herman listens, but is more concerned with the cities sudden lack of food due to the granary fire, and sends Susan Skulltuski with the party to discover the source of the sudden sourge in pests.
 * Joa stays behind to help Herman plan his first move against the wizards of Lumenmort and The Secret of the Jade Monkey.

On the road

 * The party sets off, and with little effort rescues a small farm for a handfull of dire rats and fire beetles.
 * The farmer directs the party towards The Sunbright Grove where he claims most of the pest are orginating.
 * In the grove, the party discovers Sha Ka'khan battling hordes of undead that have gathered around The Hero's Cenotaph.
 * The undead are apparently crawling up from a deep tunnel left by one of the meteorites that fell at the campaigns start. Their presence is almost certainly to blame for the fire beetles mass exodus from the forest.
 * Also present is a robed figure with abilities and appearance similar to the Orc they encountered aboard the slave ship.
 * They dispatch these foes and Sha Kakhan explains she was just recently reborn at the Cenotaph to find herself assailed by the undead. She explains she is searching for something, though she knows not what. She believes whatever it is is of dire importance and that it lie in the hidden catacombs beneath the cenotaph.
 * The party camps just outside the forest and in the morning returns to enter the catacombs.
 * Inside the cenotaph they solve a riddle involving three magic statues of ancient clerics of Pelor. The riddle is written in Supernal. It reads above the statues "Only one of these clerics hold The Truth of Pelor". Two statues have sheilds that read "I am not the way" and the leftmost statue reads "The cleric to my right is the way".
 * The rightmost statue opens a hidden passage in the empty sarcophogus in the center of the room.
 * The truth of pelor is a +2 magic great sword. Susan retrieves it from the center statue and Rockhelm takes it.
 * Below the party encounters 3 zombies being assailed by swarms of rats. The walls of the catacomb are veined with glowing, green necrotic energy reminiscent of the craters left by the meteorites.
 * The party dispatches these foes, growing stronger and pressing onward.

The Hero's Cenotaph

 * As our heros descend deeper into the catacombs, the corruption that seems to follow these meteorites grows stronger. Coming across an ancient fountain, they find all further doors blocked by giant necrotic cysts, oozing a deep ichor. Driven by some unknown will, the undead growths were witnessed defiling the graves of the brave warriors who gave their lives overthrowing the tyranny of the Lich Kings, converting the corpses into shambling grotesqueries of rotting flesh and naked bone. Recognizing the futility of destroying the creations while their creators remained, the party popped these hideous bumps and set to exploring their surroundings.


 * To their left was a gallery glowing faint red; to their right, the path to a chapel. Straight ahead was the tomb of the unnamed cleric, its stone double doors obscuring a source of powerful dark magic. Prudence demanded routing out the surrounding evil before tackling its source, and so the Skaarsgaard Five entered the gallery, discovering it surprisingly free of undead--but not, unfortunately, of vermin. After a skirmish that presented the party with many new challenges, such as Kradd's apparent spider-blindness or Rockhelm's brief case of filth fever and being-inside-a-giant-frog, the adventurers set to rest before tackling the rest of the dungeon. While resting, Susan discovered a Sunblade, and Alexander discovered a ship-in-the-bottle that seemed to represent the Nationtaker his great ancestor Wolfgang Skaar had commandeered.


 * Still feeling the surrounding rooms might present greater tools to combat the evil in the tomb of the unknown cleric, the band next took to the chapel. The ensuing scuffle against a cadre of skeleton knights and archers saw Kradd laid low, but the battle presented new rewards: the half-elf warlord obtained a set of Shared Suffering Armor and the human ranger obtained a Screaming Bow. With their new equipment donned, the party investigated a nearby room, a room whose importance had just been remembered by Sha: the Cenotaph's Arcane Waypoint.


 * Within the Arcane Waypoint was a portal to the room where Sha and her sister had lost their lives. Bracing herself for what could only be vengeance, they entered the room...only to find its main power source gone. Disheartened, Sha retired to the chapel to seek solace. Solace might have eluded her, but she did discover a divine rod, and received the blessing of her god Pelor.


 * Now fully-armed, the party felt ready to tackle the power hiding within the cleric's repository. Pushing the doors open, they found a meteor lodged deep in the center of the floor. After a great shaking, the meteor produced a terrible beast, a beast wearing the unnamed cleric and using it as a weapon. But, fearsome as the monster was, it was no match for a team whose bonds were forged in the heat of battle. Even after it shed the encumbrance of the corpse, the party continued its relentless assault, eventually ridding it entirely of its unlife and earning Pelor's blessing in the process. Upon Alexander Skaarsgaard's suggestion that the party was too much a gestalt to bear his name, the team rechristened itself the Killwizards and set off to present Herman IV with the good news. Little did they know that their reception would be a cool one...

The Herman Impostor

 * As the party finished its trek back to Herman's Landing, they were surprised to find the patrolling guard sparse and the city tense. Arriving at the palace, they were presented with the inescapable feeling that something was deadly wrong. This sensation was validated as their traveling partner Joa returned, clearly the worse for wear. Having been imprisoned during the time he was serving as liaison to the king, he revealed to his team that the man on the throne was but a doppelganger summoned by...wizards!


 * Upon this revelation, let loose was the battle cry "KILLWIZARDS ASSEMBLE!" Though their battle against the impostor and his wizard guard was difficult, seeing more madness heaped upon Rockhelm as he was briefly turned into a squirrel, the doppelgangers could not keep the team from staying true to their name. Not even the release of one of Herman's prize Frosthawks could keep the party down. Now reunited and complete, having consoled Joa who had been through so much, the party set off to find the real Herman IV.

Here's Where Things Get Messy

 * After scrounging through the palace, the Killwizards located some magical items, and--most importantly--a giant ant named LeBron James. Now be-antened, the team searched through the dungeons to find the genuine leader of Herman's Landing. After dispatching some more guards, find him they did, but flanked by a coterie of magic statues!


 * Though pushed to the limit by these statues--with the party almost forced to bid farewell to their alcoholic antfriend as it soaked up punishment--the team retrieved the pirate leader. Then things got messy. Kradd squandered his newfound political capital by insisting Herman finance guerilla operations against Lumenmort, Susan carved up his table, and the party separated briefly for drink or, in Joa's case, trying to set the town on fire after inciting a peasant rebellion. Both attempts were (mostly) squashed, but the party's cohesion was threatened. Joa went off to the Necropolis, as a newly-exiled Killwizards decided to seek Sha's sister Ra.

A Shapeshifter, A Dragon, a Tree: Journey to the Lazer Zone

 * On their journey to a dwarven mining village, the Killwizards are attacked first by a set of Otyughs. During the battle, what they believe to be Joa is returned to them, apparently by means of magical meteor. Putting aside their differences, they lay the swampbeasts to waste, and soon come upon an upturned caravan, with nearby kobold slaves and dwarven corpses. Surrounding the caravan are an assortment of zombies and other undead. Following the battle, Joa seems especially willing to slaughter a kobold slave offering information about the dwarven encampment. As it is soon revealed, he is not the Joa they once knew.


 * Fortunately for the party, the shapeshifter Joa seemed as impatient and reckless as the original article. Mystifyingly choosing to attack Kradd in the middle of the night, he is put down by the party. There is no mourning. Instead, they affix the newly-reparied caravan to LeBron and follow the kobold's advice on making it to his city. He speaks of his leader Verminex, who may have the means to storm the dwarven enclave and help set his people free.


 * After staving off a monsoon of rats, the party is led into the kobold encampment. There they meet with Cormak Bindleshanks, and they are told of Orlando Blightrex, a dragon turned to stone by the vicious Euryale. To prepare for the possibility of being stonified, they were told of a giant tree whose sap may protect them from the medusa's rays.


 * They met upon this tree, one DaMarsche Root. DaMarsche informed them of the terrible evil of Blightrex, and pledged his support to the Killwizards should he not revive him in their quest to elimitate Euryale. They agree, and are granted a soothing balm of his sap. Now prepared, they make their way to Euryale's Crystal Castle.

Don't Let Me into My Lazer Zone

 * Euryale's castle proved treacherous: first they were attacked by living crystal and terrifying beams of light, then they were set upon by awful mimics who proved all to eager to dine on half-orc. Despite another encounter that saw Rockhelm inside a monster, and an uncomfortable-looking golem of snakes, the party cut their way down to Euryale, who fell down to the ground and was then brutally hacked apart.

Kisses of Fire!

 * The party returns to DaMarsche to present him with the head of the evil Orlando Blightrex. Granting his blessing, he informs them of a dwarven mining village a few days away. Inspired to take down another source of the evil plaguing the land, the party sets off.


 * After brushing off monsters from yet another overturned caravan, the group met up with some fleeing dwarves and their kobold slaves. The Killwizards were informed that the hamlet of Hershelholm had been razed to the ground by fire daemons. After a brief discussion on the merits of boiling water prior to consumption, the party set out to fight said fire daemons. Alas, the party was to suffer its second loss of a member, and for the first time, it was an entity they liked.


 * That's right, poor LeBron James was burnt to a crisp. Already suffering mummyrot, the dumb, alcoholic battle-ant did not realize he was on fire and went out as he lived--a giant ant. Having no time to mourn, took to the mines. On their way they were offered potions and support by Akiva Hershel, Pelor's Priest, and head of the local Young Menschen Combat Academy.


 * Within the cave they faced a harrowing showdown against far-too-many cannabilistic dwarven ghouls, another clawed undead herald of the metorites, and another terrible worm-like necromance. The party was forced to stave off mental domination, and for the first time (of many),Rockhelm was knocked out to the point of near-death. The group rallied, however, and saved the region from another awful source of the blight.


 * While recovering at the YMCA, Akiva took Rockhelm down to a fries. Initiating Pelor's Blessing by happenstance, the monster was regaled with a tale of warring minotaurs and metal warriors putting their differences aside and going underground to create a weapon against a monster that appeared to consume the world. Not privy to this revelation, Akiva informed Rock that the one artifact of LeBron James, his Skree DIary, appeared to carry some prophetic value. Offering the party some waystone, the Killwizards set off to find Ra Kakhan, Sha's sister.

Oh god this is terrible

 * Trekking back to the Hero's Cenotaph, the party encounters the kobolds from before. After expressing disappointment their dragon was not saved, they were swayed by an impassioned speech from Kradd to seek the blessing of Pelor. So moved was he by his own bullshit that he soon came to Sha, begging to be accepted into the sun-god's army. Newly-annointed, he strode to battle with new purpose.


 * This purpose and resolve would be tested, however, when the party was faced with the horror that lay on the other side of the worldstone. Ra had bee corrupted by some unknown dark force, promising the end of death and life. They were briefly presented with a window into space and eternity, but were forced to flee a cathedral filled with awful monsters of many varieties. Rockhelm, again, nearly died mutliple times, but the crew escaped into the Wildwood, mostly intact.

Let's break physics!

 * In the Wildwood the party was attacked by mushroom men and tree-beasts. Though these creatures paled compared to the monstrosities they just faced, their exhaustion slowed their movements, and Skaarsgaard, Kradd, and Rockhelm all nearly met death. After dispatching their foes, they realized that they needed rest, but safe shelter was nowhere to be found. Hitting upon a brilliant idea, Skulltuski suggested they hide in her bag of holding. Hide they did, and, though cramped, she found a miraculous pair of boots.



Party

 * Art: 180GP
 * Gold: 300GP

Alex

 * Blessing: Pelor's Sun Blessing (Lvl 3)
 * Weapon: Poison Bow +2 (Lvl 10)
 * Potion: Potion of Healing (50gp)
 * Armor: Serpentskin Leather Armor

Joa:

 * 60GP
 * Art: Goblet 40GP

Kradd

 * Blessing: Pelor's Sun Blessing (Lvl 3)
 * Neck: Cloak of Resistance +2
 * Weapon: Inspiring Scimitar +1 (Lvl 3)
 * Armor: Shared Suffering Armor +1 (Lvl 5)
 * Item: Power Jewel

Sha

 * Blessing: Pelor's Sun Blessing (Lvl 3)
 * Implement: Rod of Divinity +1 (Lvl 3)
 * Armor: Deathcut Leather Armor +1

Sue

 * Blessing: Pelor's Sun Blessing (Lvl 3)
 * Weapon: Sunblade Longsword +1 (Lvl 4)
 * Potion: Potion of Healing (50gp)
 * Armor: Bestial Hide Armor +1 (Lvl 3)
 * Feet: Boots of the Fencing Master

Rock

 * Blessing: Pelor's Sun Blessing (Lvl 3)
 * Weapon: Magic Greatsword +2 (Lvl 6)
 * Armor: Summoned Armor +3 (Lvl 2)